How To Relax

How to Relax - And Really Know You Have.

This morning I had a lay in until 9am (I'm usually up at 5am). When I eventually got out of bed, I didn’t feel relaxed.

Ever find yourself picking your phone up as soon as you wake up and mindlessly scrolling? Or at the beach, glancing between your phone and the waves… even in the bath, toggling between a screen and your thoughts? The curious thing is, even when we think we’re relaxing, we’re still doing something. Are we ever truly at rest?

Here’s what research says:

• Nature soothes the brain. Time by the water - what researchers call "blue spaces" - activates your parasympathetic nervous system (the “rest and digest” mode), helping your body truly unwind. Things like rhythmic waves, fresh air, and even negative ions all contribute to easing stress and elevating mood.

  
  

• Physiology of calm. The relaxation response - first studied by Dr. Herbert Benson in the 1970s - is a measurable shift: slower heart rate, lower blood pressure, reduced muscle tension, and a flood of calming neurotransmitters and endorphins.

  
  

• For some people, silence can be unsettling. Turns out, just sitting quietly can feel uneasy or even cognitively intense. In one study, people preferred self-administering mild electric shocks over sitting with their thoughts.

  
  

Here’s your guide to actually relaxing—so you can feel it:

1. Drop the devices. Let go of your phone - really clear external distractions.

   
   

2. Engage gently. Choose a low-stimulus focus: the sound of waves, the feel of water, warm bath bubbles, or stillness.

   
   

3. Listen to your body. True relaxation might feel like heaviness in your limbs, or a deep exhale that lingers. I feel my shoulders drop as if the weight of the world has lifted off them.

   
   

4. Breathe with intention. Deep, slow breathing helps cue your body into its “rest and digest” mode.

   
   

5. Notice when you don’t want to move. That moment when you’re in the bath, and you have zero desire to get out - that’s your body in its relaxed state.

   
   

Putting it all together:

There’s a medical name for that “I don’t want to get up yet” feeling - it indicates your nervous system has shifted out of fight-flight and into genuine rest. Combine time in nature or water with voluntary stillness, and you’ve created a powerful recipe for healing.

So next time you sink into that bath or lounge by the shore, try letting stillness win - just for a moment. You might discover that is what genuine relaxation feels like.

💛 Wild Freedom

Written by Sandy Fairbanks / Founder of WF.